Where Does Confidence Really Come From?
Think about the most confident women you know… A teacher? Your Mom? Your best friend? What about someone famous? Where does their confidence come from?
Let’s break down the definition of confidence first:
Confidence (noun): a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s own appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities
In other words, confidence comes from your own appreciation of your abilities and qualities. It has nothing to do with anyone else, much less their opinion of you. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
It’s easy to think confidence comes from people liking what you wear or what you do, or that it comes from having the most followers on Instagram or the most likes on TikTok. Having those things feels good, right? But in reality, none of those have anything to do with confidence. Unfortunately, sometimes those things can actually have the opposite effect on your confidence, and make you feel insecure if you don’t get as many likes as someone else, or lose a few followers one day.
So if it doesn’t come from people liking you, where does it come from? Well, it comes from within. Remember the definition of confidence: it comes from your own appreciation of your abilities or qualities. Think about those confident women from earlier. They probably don’t have thousands of followers, or post TikToks every day, or wear the trendiest clothes… and yet they radiate confidence in everything they do.
Don’t get confidence mixed up with being self-absorbed. Being confident is a truly wonderful thing, while being self-absorbed isn’t so great; they are very different traits. You can be confident without being cocky. In fact, the bible even encourages your confidence, saying: “do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded” (Hebrews 10:35) because “the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). When we love ourselves for who we are and cherish the abilities and gifts God gave us, it radiates throughout and makes us confident in everything we do.